Audrey Kitching

i always think its funny how many views a stupid photo will get compared to a journal entry.

its finally warm in the city i keep spitting up blood and convinving myself its from my nose im probably dying but then again arent we all i might just be going a little faster.  tonight im going to a vip party with third eye blind in nyc with morgan after there show haha should be rad. its all about the 90s rock bands! people with huge egos that love attention more then anything are the most insecure people you will ever meet. they always need people feeding them so that they have a reason to think they are better then they really are...because deep down they know they are worthless. these people are never truely happy and more then likely never will be, and damn right fine with me. soak it all in now because in 5 years when your nearing 30.. all the 14 year olds will have grown up, you will have no one to feed your incapable mind of unrealistic thoughts. but untill then more power to you i guess? i remember when you told me im driving you crazy. actions speak louder then words.

i get the crazyest sketchy shady ass vibes from people and whatever my intincts are they are always...always right. im known for not putting up with bullshit and cutting people out soon as they start to pull that..(meaning "im a bad friend" or as i like to call it "someone as pathetic as you isnt going to try and fuck me over anymore")  i have been trying to change my ways and give people more chances. all im doing is setting myself up for more of a let down. people change, ther character and demenor dont, majority of people will go through life being the same by some stand point. i have always done everything myself never helped never leaned on people as a crutch (name dropping, befriended people who are terrible because they have something to offer, trying to be best friends with every shitty band in america..just to name a few). i dont even know what im trying to say other then being shady isnt ganna get you anywhere see you in hell worthless shits.

on a better note haha me and zui filmed a bunch and shot new trashylife and should be out by end of the week.

www.trashylife.buzznet.com

 hanna comes soon and needs to hurry her ass up.  i need to find me some good everyone is so negative. i need good in my life its bad for my aura. having people help you do anything is asking to get nothing done. if i dont take everything into my hands i will still be sitting here waiting for help in 3 years. mission for next month is find me some good. i surround myself with such dark mean no standardness and its starting to show.

finding the good yeah thats what im doing.

i cant stop eating udon noodels! so good i love them. and bloody marys  yes lots of those. im shooting a segment for much music pilot :making of a magazine" tomorrow and shooting the bathinsuit spread its super rad. more like a bikni made of junk and trash. you shall see! meeting on friday then nyc for ruff club vip. sunday latex shoot and press shoot. hanna is comming soon woo! i see the boy of hell soon. thats your new name.. except it. bamboozle! were staying with drop dead and it will be full of rage. nyc 28th is lori early gallery open excitited about that. back to la mid may. audrey kitching shirts very soon! they are the best things ever i want to wear it so bad but thats just dumb i cant haha! warped tour this summer... west and east coast. be ready for it! ebay has been bad news for me. tory burch madalian black flats, alexander mcqueen scarfs ,the vintage metallica shirt mary kate has, channel earings, philosphy bubble bath. i must be stoped!

too everyone who seems to think im such a horrible person. this is what i have to say to you. im the nicest person you willl meet.. until you disrespect me. what kind of person would i be to sit around and take verbal abuse and not say anything and stick up for myself? id be a push over. no one is any higher then anyone else and for whatever motive goes through a mind that allows them to say rude disrespectful things about someone they never met i will never know. i am way to busy to give a shit about anyone elses drama base life. but i can tell you this... i will stick up for myself till the day i die for pride sake. if that makes me a bitch.. then so be it.. but answer me this.. if im a bitch for sticking up for myself because you attack me with random slander for no reaosn.. what does that make you?

i can kick your ass if i need too, but i would much rather love you.

obsessions of the week :
motley crue night train
3am bubble baths
lemon water
bloody mary
hillary duff reality show
whiskey sours
our 7am converstaions since its all we have.
wearing the same tshirt.
dreads.
kendra from girls next door

hope everyone is doing good rock and roll all you little sluts

remember when i left you because you treated me dissrespectfully and i would never pick up your calls no matter how many times you tried to reach me..not because i wasnt dying to talk to you, because i had too much pride. i wore your hoodie for months without taking it off and always talked about the sea because i was convinced if i was on a shore you were at the other end  somewhere and the sea is universal and connects everyone. i was extremely skinny and sleep wasnt in my vocabulary. i was never sober and always talking about the sea, steve jenkins and the color blue. everyone would always tell me to shut up and instead of picking up the phone i would read your horoscope or go to palm readers. then over time the color blue eventually faded.  it got to warm to wear your hoodie.  there was nothing left to say about steven jenkins and i stoped going to the ocean.
and that use to be where the story ended.

your'e so insanely fucked up and sketchy. you're the most combative raging
short tempered person i've ever known. you get one bad vibe from anyone
and you're at their throats calling them out ready to throw down. and
it doesnt matter how long or well you've known them either. i cant even
remember how many times you've texted or called me saying 'fuck you
asshole next time i see you im going to punch you in the face and put
your cigarettes out on your eyelids. you're shitty and cocky fuck you and i didnt even do anything..its just random and unpredictable. and then sometimes
you just decide to completely ignore me for a couple weeks and its the
one time we're actually in the same fuckin hemisphere and you're 10
miles away. and then you leave and dont even say bye. sketchy as fuck.
you do the shittiest things to people just to sketch them out. you go shopping in your underwear, your out of your fucking mind the things you do are for no reason, piss anywhere, you start fights..but you dont give a shit. you will punch and spit on anything or anyone whether you have a reason or not. you live to piss people off. people see you as this pretty pink model princess but you're not your fucking crazy always fucked up high or strung out. your life is a quintin tarantino movie but more fucked up and you make all of his other fictional characters look like the biggest
pussies that ever lived. you are so fucked up and it rules.

hows your head?
 its okay... its not normal though. its never going to be.

i have been in philly for last week no makeup no hair extensions jeans and tshirts. just been relaxing. tomorrow is the start of work work work work work. i need to get a manicure pedicure for shoots and do my extensions. thursday shooting. friday nyc couture shoot. steve prue shoot. ruff club. sat. junk magzine shoot. misshapes. eddie sedwick exhbit in nyc. nike town! and filming lots of filming. clients. partying. name it its happening. me and morgan went to a bar last week and were extermely inebriated wich is an understatement.. i heard someone calling my name we follwed them for 3 blocks almost got arrested and started a fight until a guy grabbed me.. it was someone i went to school with trying to say hi. if someone that was 3x my size said something dissrespectful to me i would act the same way as if it someone my size. im way to hostel for my own good but i would be lying to you and myself if i said i was going to ever change. you know that feeling. the one where everything inside of you tells you this is a bad idea. i should not do this or be here.. yeah that one. thats the feeling that everytime i get it i do it. this is either going to make me end up dead or in a lot more trouble then you or i can imagine. i have been in every terrible situation you can think of and got my self out f them... its going to catch up to me one day..it will. atleast i will never live with the thought of. "what if...". you always come back. your like a bad drug. everytime my life is ok and some what stabel.. whatever that means. you have to come back. you always had the worst timeing. never in my life would i ever let someone treat me with the disrespect i allow you too. but i set myself up for it. i want it. hell, i up and left someone i was in love with because i thought he was being cocky to me, and i didnt ever give him the chance to say goodbye haha. somethings will never make sense. but then again our sole purpose here is to learn and experement. learn from your mistakes.
when you can stop you dont want too. when you want to stop you cant.